All of these have been used to degrade or dehumanize a woman, a non-heteronormative person or someone who likes to have sex ALOT. It has to do with power dynamics — who has the power and how will they use it? Normally the person with the most power uses language to take over the person with the least amount of power in society.  This is why we have “bad words” that make certain people feel small. If you think language has nothing to do with oppression you have a lot to learn.

But, who says that those who have been oppresses for years and years can’t take back these words and use it to their advantage? Well, a lot of people do.

These words can be extremely triggering. When I say triggering — I mean absolute fear, hatred, and anxiety can take over the person. And, understandably so. These words can be uttered to a person before they are being killed. Before, during and after bullying.  These words are a product of a society that refuses to acknowledge that it has a part in the deaths of millions of people over hundreds of years. No one wants to admit to that, because of guilt but the truth stands still. And now, I am labeled a hatemonger for making such accusations.

But, I don’t take back the words that hurt me because I feel the need to stick it to “the man” although that is a lot of fun. I do it because the bullying I incessantly faced has become a part of my identity; a part of who I am. I call myself a slut because in fact I was/am one. I refer to myself as a dyke because as a queer person I am attracted to female perceived people.  I am a bitch because I like to get shit done. I am everything that society begs me not toA  be — and so I resist.

So, next time you get into an argument with someone who is reclaiming the words that hurt them let it go. Their experiences have been different than yours and if you come from a more privileged place than that person you need to stop, drop and roll the fuck away. The reclamation of words are a form of resistance. We resist.

Body positive isn’t only about feeling good about your size but about other people’s sizes. Big, small, just in between. I know that it’s hard because jealousy is a powerful emotion but that doesn’t mean there is no use in trying to be body positive. I still struggle with jealousy every day, but I fill that big hole up with so many positive things like, FOOD!

For me, food is the absolute epitome of joy. I love to bake and cook with friends. I enjoy a good meal in the company of others where we can talk about food, our day and our stressors. Food brings people together, even when they are so far away.  What would a party be without food? Not a party worth attending, in my opinion.

But there are some who are scared of food. Who think food is the enemy and I have been there.

People with eating disorders such as: anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, or binge eating just to name a few are powerful illnesses that can take over a person’s will to function. This does not mean one is not or cannot be body positive. It is a struggle to be body positive in a culture that strives for perfection that cannot be perfected through a human body.  It is okay to be disgusted with yourself in the mirror one day and be thrilled with it the next. It is okay to struggle with an eating disorder but self identify as body positive. I am not here to shame you but unfortunately there are some who will in the “fat positive” or “body positive” mainstream movements. Don’t listen to them because they cannot feel your pain. They cannot experience what you do.

It is okay to be fat and be disgusted with your body, while still being body positive. It is okay to be fat and unhealthy. It is okay to be fat and healthy. It is okay. It is okay. It is okay. I cannot say it enough because we are bombarded with messages that tell us we are not okay. We are not good enough. We are not healthy enough. “Where is the next diet: because I have to be on it!” Diets do not work. Diets are a silent killer, both emotionally and physically.

Being body positive is more than loving yourself and others. It is about loving your mind and body and being accepting of others. It is a struggled and will continue to be until our culture accepts all body sizes.

I always say “your ableism is showing” to people who tell me I am a real “activist.” It is not because I do not care but it is because I do not have the time. The effort. The mental health to go out and about and risk my well being simply because your organization deems it necessary.

Dictionary.com defines an activist as “1. an especially active, vigorous advocate of a cause, especially a political cause. 2. of or pertaining to activism or activists. 3. advocating or opposing a cause or issue vigorously, especially a political cause.” So, as you can see there is not a checklist for being an activist. No one is telling you what you need to be doing because, simply it is up to a person’s discretion. You decide what activities to take part in.

Protests are cool. They are vintage — I mean you need only watch every documentary on political rights to know that. But, activism is evolving and blogging is becoming part of a big resistance that protests can’t tough. Blogging can reach millions of people — protests maybe thousands if you’re lucky. Millions if you’re “truly revolutionary.” But, blogging is doing something protests can’t: spread ideas to millions of people without much time, effort or energy.

And it’s awesome for those of us who suffer from high social anxiety. Because in a crowd of people, those of us who are afraid to talk are invisible. We are not being heard because we don’t want to be. We are expected to follow fucked up rules to appease to the larger leadership within such an activist circle.

This is a call for a broader definition of activism. I am a social justice activist. I am a blogger. I am here to fuck your shit up.

I am not in the business of changing people’s minds. I am not interested in winning the debate. I only ask for you to think critically about the world around you and how it operates. Please recognized the intersections of race, class, gender, and ability/disability to name a few. If you haven’t already I suggest reading “This Bridge Called My Back” edited by Cherrie Moraga and Gloria Anzaldua. I’ll probably make a post with a list of readings.

My philosophy is not to teach in formal institutions. It is not to be the one and only voice but the one of many. I do not want to talk over you, but with you. I wish to have patience in dialogue with you as I would hope you to do with me. Things in this world are not always as squeaky clean as that, and so from time to time I will be super aggressive. I will have a tone. I will not be nice to abusive people. If you cross that line I will call you out and if necessary will moderate comments.

I hope you understand that I come from both a place of privilege and oppression. Nothing is black and white and that I will take criticism seriously.

Best, Nicole